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09 October 2016 @ 09:58 pm
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I disabled comments after getting some...interesting? comments. Go ahead and message me or just send me a request and I will check you out :)

I will keep entries public for 10 days, each (Or every two weeks if I am suddenly swamped!). Then they will be locked. This allows people to get a taste of what I'm like while still giving me a sense of privacy.

Thanks for understanding!


19 January 2017 @ 10:19 pm
Unexpected day off. I'm consuming what is probably an unnecessary amount of green tea to keep warm, and tidying up here and there. The flu has been going around (Why is there a new flu like every two weeks, in Japan?)  and a few of my coworkers have gotten sick, so I'm stuck working a Saturday to help out with an event. I had planned on practicing my chocolates on Saturday morning, so instead, I'll just have to do it today. My chocolates always look amazing, but unfortunately, have a rather regular taste. Good, but nothing spectacular. This year, I want to focus more on flavor than appearance.

Sakka-kun doesn't like sweets, so I don't have to worry about making him anything.
Yuki doesn't like chocolate, but he's directly expressed his wanting me to make him cookies for valentines day, if I make anything. So,I'm going to make him Panda and heart shaped coconut cocoa cookies.
Masahiro wants chocolates. So I'm practicing making cheesecake-flavored chocolate to make him panda chocolates and cheesecake tarts.

It feels very different this year. Well, dating again in general feels very different. I've always just transitioned, knowing who the next guy would be, even before breaking up with the current guy. This is the first time since I was 17, that I'm having to go from scratch. It's true what they say. Dating past mid-twenties is a different ball game. I think back to the drama オトナ女子 (This drama really looked at how women's ideas of what a perfect relationship is, often sabotages a good opportunity), and remember how I used to roll my eyes at the protagonist, but now I am starting to get it, and I'm sure that if I re-watched the drama, I would sympathize with her so much more. With Kenshi, we used to always plan things out -- pick dates beforehand and all that. But with Sakka-kun, Yuki and Masahiro, it's all being played by ear because of the way their work schedules are.  I have general ideas of when we will meet next, but I usually don't know the exact day until a week before, or sometimes just the day before.

And surprisingly, I feel really relaxed about that.

I'm working hard to save money this year, so instead of going out and buying a million new things, I cleaned out the kitchen and found a lot of the chocolate molds and packaging that I already had, and decided to use some of those. Since I'm not sure when I will be meeting them, I won't make things just yet, but I want to practice practice practice, so that making the mixes and blends become so natural, I can whip them up in an hour, once I know when we will meet.

RIP to the weight I lost because naturally, I have to taste-test it all! Especially the raspberry jelly filled cheesecake chocolates!

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On Saturday I am meeting with Kaz for the first time in a few months. I can't stress it enough how glad I am that his wife has no problem with me. I thought I'd end up on her bad side what with me being a female VIP sitting directly at her husband's table, with everyone constantly asking on their wedding day what my relationship to him was, pouring me drinks, ect. Maybe it's very clear to her that he and I are like siblings. Anyway, he'll listen to me talk about the boys and then make fun of each of them respectively before paying for my drinks. It'll be good fun.
15 January 2017 @ 06:11 pm
unnamed (13)Took the weekend for myself and just spent the time at home relaxing, organizing and exercising. I finally completely trimmed down and repotted my succulents.I usually keep them on my dresser for decoration, but despite the cold, it's sunny, so I thought to let them get some sun. Tending to them distracted me enough from my love life. I thought that this time around, I wanted to try and be more rational in selecting a partner, instead of just running off of personal feeling. But now that I'm getting to know my suitors more, I'm starting to feel guilty at the idea of having to turn someone down. And once again, the love square begins to form....

I considered getting up earlier to change and then talk to mom via LINE as I eat breakfast, but she's back in Puerto Rico now visiting family and I don't want to cut in to that. Maybe I've mentioned it before but my mom watches my sister's kids for her almost every day, so she doesn't have much time to herself anymore and often talks about feeling like she's lost herself. She doesn't see herself as an individual anymore. Just a mom or a grandma or a babysitter. She always mentions how she enjoys our talks because I talk to her like a person -- like a friend. So I know she would definitely make time to sit and talk to me even while in Puerto Rico. But I can talk to her any time after. She only has this time with them.

My mom loves her nieces. I know it. But it's easy to see what having them day in and day out has done to her. My mom used to eagerly tell me how she couldn't wait for me to have kids. How I would make a great mom. Now....of course she isn't telling me not to have kids. But she definitely pushes it on the backburner, telling me it doesn't suit a person like me, who has so many things she wants to do, who has so many things she needs to experience. "Besides," she always tells me "You can't take care of your plants and kids!"

Really, though, I have none of that. I've calmed down a lot and am ready to settle. I think she's just pushing to live through me, my stories, my adventures. You should have seen her giggle and wiggle in her seat as I told her about the love predicament I've found myself in. We were like two school girls. "Heartbreaker! Don't rush anything!"

In part, that's why even though I am not religious myself, I love that my mom is strong in her faith and is active in her church. They give her people to talk to, support, that I am not there to give. They can give her some sense of individuality, an existance outside of her family. It makes it possible for me to worry about her just a little less.

I worry about my dad as well, because of his progressing RA and the medicines he has to take and all that, but overall, he's okay. We socialize on a daily basis, exchanging funny dog memes and videos (If you have any, please send them! I'm running low on material to send him!). He had a few things he regretted--not finishing school and not doing more art, but he's tackling them and feeling happy overall.

They sent me a care package. They always make me cry. They manage to send things I didn't even realize I had been desiring and then when I run out, I go through withdrawls. But they always manage to time their packages to the point that they arrive only a couple of weeks after running out. That candy corn stood no chance. I swallowed both bags in a week. I laughed when I saw the dress they had sent. I had been eyeing a very similar one at GU but couldn't justify dropping 3,000yen on it.
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With the candy corn gone, my new source of sugar are this seasons Thunderbars. While I dislike chocolate, I will never miss trying the new flavors at least once. I've been trying them and collecting the different wrappers since moving here a million years ago.
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09 January 2017 @ 08:33 pm
Finally back to work tomorrow! Drinking some green tea as I catch up on American Politics, do some last minute cleaning, and prepare for tomorrow. I'm a little nervous, mostly because I can't seem to remember what train it was I took to get to work by the exact time I need, and I really need to be at the train earlier than my usual time because I need to renew my commuter pass. Really should have done it tonight, but it's far too cold for me to be out. I feel like it's going to be hectic. Not because it's a hard or busy day or anything. My co-workers are just always literally running around when they could be walking.

One thing I am glad I did do this vacation was get all my medical things in line. My left knee is still extremely weak and I need to spend more time working on it and was scolded for not using the knee brace I had been instructed to use whenever I do sports. On a good note, though, some time ago, I had been taken off of a lot of my medications. I went from 5 to 1. And now, they've reduced the dose I need to take from 4 pills to 2. I know I will never be completely off these pills, but it is very nice to have to take only a small dose.

Weightwise, I still have a bit to go. At a 160cm height (5'3"), doctors place my healthy weight at 50kg (110lbs). I'm currently at 56(123lbs)kg and want to be at 54 (119) by the end of the month. I tried asking how muscle would affect my "healthy weight" but the doctor said that even with muscle, my healthy weight is at 50kg(110).

Still have some way to go, but at least I am not jiggly!

Pic and workouts under the cut.
Progress So farCollapse )

I had been debating whether or not I would make chocolates this year for valentines day. I've made them every year for whoever I was dating.
Yes, I don't have a special someone, but I've decided to make a gift pack for friends! It's going to include two or three cookies, and either a chocolate, white chocolate, or strawberry chocolate panda. I'll start practicing after next paycheck. 
07 January 2017 @ 10:47 pm
My morning wasn't so great. I went to the local gym to check out a new Saturday morning Zumba class. The one I take on Wednesdays is amazing, so I thought I wanted to try a second class. Talk about poor decisions. The class was...more like what Japanese people assume latin people dance like, more than it was Zumba. It felt more like an aerobics class than latin dance and then on top of that, there were so many times where the moves simply didn't really match with the beat. And the music jumped from latin to tribal to techno...it was just all over the place. I can't count how many times I simply stopped dancing and just stared. Everyone was having fun, which was great, but part of me was really offended that this was being marketed as a Zumba class. Is this really what Japanese people assume we do?

Needless to say, won't be joining that class again. To make up for the lack of exercise, I walked three hours.

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I had mentioned before that I wanted to try and get to know Yuki, Sakka-kun and Masahiro a bit more before I decided on which of them I would date. I spent New Years with Masahiro, so I met up with Yuki today, now that he has finally finished moving from Tokyo to Oyama.  This is the third time we've met up, and it followed the same pattern of our other dates -- dinner, window shopping, and discussing recipes we want to try and make. His new place in Oyama has an amazing kitchen, so he's decided to learn to cook this year and constantly asks me for recipes and ideas. He keeps hinting at us cooking together there, but we'll see.

On our walk, we stumbled across an old purikura machine -- one of the first LbT machines, I believe, as it didn't even offer the option to send to mobile. Yuki said he wanted to take one because he had never done it before, so I agreed. The pacing of the machine was much too fast for him, however, and half the time he had no idea what he was doing. By the time we reached the last photo, I was laughing so hard I couldn't even face the camera anymore.

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Only Sunday and Monday left before I have to go back to work. I can't believe I'm saying this, but I really miss it.... There really is such a thing as too much vacation! Having a million things to do keeps my mind sharp. Having too much free time...goodness, most of this break, I couldn't even remember what day of the week it was without looking at my calendar!