After a night shift, I am physically exhausted but after having to go through the fright of thinking I lost both my brother and my sister, I'm mentally exhausted as well.

As soon as I got off work I found out that my sister and her boyfriend had been in a car accident.
My sister's car is a wreck. They were coming home when a deer dashed on to the road. My sister tried to miss it and the car ended up hitting a tree and stopping at a cliff.

For the first time ever in my life I wondered what I'd do if my sister died....

When I saw her, she was crying. I've never seen her cry.

Then, to add to it, my 14 year old brother disappeared (and didn't show up until 1:30, might I add). His cell phone had been off so we couldn't reach him. We thought he had been eaten by a bear or fallen in to a creek.

For the first time ever in my life, I wondered what I'd do if my brother had died.....

He came home and wasn't at all apologetic for the trouble he caused....

本当にやりました～（＾＾）－ｖ
今日、つまらなくなったので、美容院へ行って、前髪を切りました★
どうですか？

I don't know how I feel about them yet. I kind of like them but I kind of don't like them at the same time. I'm still getting used to them. Luckily, if I decide I don't want to keep this style, I have a month to grow it out before I meet my S.O.  I wonder if he'd like them! I want to show him the next time we web-chat but I want to surprise him too. Grr... It's like I said last time, I can't make up my mind about anything this week.

So! Word travels fast. フェリス女学院 found out that I'll be back in Japan and they've requested that I do a small presentation for the new international students. Of course, according to this school, a small presentation still involves cameras, microphones and power-points, and the gathering of important members of staff and the community.

Of course I said yes. I'm going to teach myself how to say 'No' one of these days. I swear I will.
But not just yet because the people at Kaigai mentioned the possibility of me graduating from there with a scholarship and I want to see what that's all about....

I knew that I had made a strong impression at the university, but I didn't think it was one worth the attention they give me.

I might post-pone my going back to school until April. I've been thinking hard about it but if I work all the way until April, I can eliminate more than half my debt and still have enough to pay tuition out of pocket (Without even considering financial aid!). I really want to go back to studying but if I could eliminate some of this debt...

A lot of the girls at work were telling me to cut my hair like my wig. They said I looked more adult and more serious with shorter hair.For a while, I was considering listening to them, but then I decided that I wouldn't. I like myself better with long dark hair and I would rather be seen as 'cute' instead of 'serious' any day...

Most likely, I'll just get bangs. I'll probably still take the wig with me to Japan though so I can scare the hell out of Takeshi...



Aside from watching おひとりさま, I also started re-watching 愛してると言ってくれ. This drama is one of the most important dramas to me. It's about a woman who aspires to be an actress and a deaf painter. The main female learns sign language in order to communicate with the man she's fallen for. She struggles with it alot--much like I struggle to learn Japanese for Takeshi. This drama is also the reason I have a thing for older men who aren't feminine like a lot of the new generation Japanese guys.

Honestly, I can't understand how alot of girls can be so obsessed with these Japanese guys that wear more make up and spend more time on clothes than the average girl? Don't these girls understand that most of these guys are too full of themselves to date anyway? I chose to date Takeshi instead of dating one of my more 'ikemen' friends and I get alot of hell about that from some of my friends in Japan. But honestly--even if it isn't fair-- I don't trust that type of guy to date.



I've been feeling really insecure these days. I better fix this soon before I finish that 3.5 pound bag of candy downstairs. It doesn't have to do with my looks really...even though I do have issues with that. I just don't seem confident in any of the decisions I make recently. It takes me forever to make up my mind about the smallest things.

And finally! The new dance I'm learning~

I'll be in Japan from the 15th of December~★★★
Now I just have to do some hostel hunting since I'm only going to spend half the time with Take and spend some time in Tokyo too..

This week was pretty busy. I was working double shifts, had my birthday and celebrated Halloween. I was so exhausted by the end of the week that I was able to sleep through all the reconstruction going on at our house.

Anyway. Now I have pictures! Yay!

I got a gift from my sister for my birthday. It really surprised me since she and I aren't that close--and it surprised me even more that it was actually something I could use and liked very much! Even the bag was really adorable.I'll be able to wear the cap and scarf in Japan. From my parents, I got an awesome new plaid shirt, some capri jeans and some killer boots.



I had to work the midnight shift at work but that didn't stop me from getting dressed up. Everyone was pretty shocked and I got quite a few Wow's from the workers. So, for some of my friends who haven't seen me in a while (I promise I'll go back to Puerto Rico soon! Wait a bit longer!) The first picture is what I usually look like every day and the second picture is Halloween. Alot of people told me to actually cut my hair like my wig... and alot of people thought my wig WAS my real hair... >.>



I'm doing like a mega diet from here until I leave. It's going to consist of nothing but Tootsie rolls. Mom bought too much for Halloween and we have to get rid of it some how. LOL.

Anyone else watching this drama? I started it today and I really fell in love with it. Having Big Bang do the opening really does help. There are a few other dramas I wanna watch but I think I'm gonna focus my energy and time on this one first. I really like dramas with strong female leads.

お疲れ様でした　ノ（≧〃д〃≦）ソ
やっと、休みですよ～★　

My next paycheck is gonna be nice...I have 92 hours on my paycheck, with 12 of them being over-time. The amount of money I'll get in the end makes working over-time so much more tolerable. I'll be able to pay off a nice chunk of my loan and save a bit for heading back to school--if Rosemont ever gets their act together and lets me know what the hell I need to do.

Work has been kinda fun. We're ready for Halloween! Are you? We've been doing some interesting stuff. Recently we had a contest. If a customer could guess the weight of the giant pumpkin, they could keep it. The correct weight? 165lbs and 15oz. The winner's name was even more interesting. Who wouldn't love a name like: Tim Tickleman. We also got Santa all dressed up in a nice costume. Everyone finds him highly amusing and he keeps me company on the night shifts. You gotta love him! There was also a party. I got to have some super hot korean kimchi rice (源튂 // キムチ) and sushi (寿司).

맛있어요!!


My birthday is on Wednesday and I'm working from 1:30 to 10:00, so I'll be celebrating tomorrow. I won't be able to blog again until after my birthday so HAPPY 21st BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!!! It doesn't feel any different from being 20, aside from not being considered a dependent and all that jazz.
誕生日おめでとう～♪♪♪

It's starting to get damn cold. I wore a scarf and glove for the first time since I got here. The mountain tops are already freezing and it's STILL raining every day. Our roads will be covered in ice soon. Obviously, winter is here. I still need to ask my boss for time off in December so that I can go and see Takeshi... *Crosses fingers* Speaking of which.... I don't know if this is a sign but my only role model here on the island is leaving for six months--she decided suddenly--to continue pursuing her passion of art. She told me she hadn't painted since she moved to Sitka and even though she has a good job (The supermarket has the best pay and benefits on the island!) she feels empty without her passion. I wanted to leave for the same reason...and suddenly...my role model up and does it! I'm meeting her on Wednesday to discuss things.

I'm thinking of shelling out $300 and getting a nurses certification. It takes about four months to do...but I'd be able to work at hospitals anywhere...

じゃ～
나중에 또 만나요

精神的につかれています。先週の木曜日から、残業をして、部長との問題が発展し始めま

I didn't know this tradition existed. Has anyone else done this before? 
We found this at our door when we all got home after a family dinner at the Mexican restaurant.
My sister and I are going out tomorrow to buy the supplies we need and to make the copies. Of course, we're going to pass this along! 
We've never really been a part of community activities like this but it seems so fun! It's like a real life meme or chain letter! 

I normally don't compliment myself...but I was cute when I was little! Maybe I need to go back to curly hair.
That's my younger sister behind me. Now, she looks years and years older than me...



Will catch up on everyone's blogs tomorrow since I have the day off! =D

I keep switching phones like every month. This is what I'm using now.


I'm so tired after work its not even funny.
The camera really does add 10 pounds! *Makes new gym schedule*


These flowers rock my world.

（´ω｀＼＼）お疲れ様でした～
Even though Monday and Tuesday were my day off, I was alot busier than I expected to be. Monday morning was taken up by a stupid work meeting. After an hour and a half of sitting, all I learned was that no one really recognized me without my glasses. That's right. I am victim of the superman effect. Anyway, Monday and Tuesday consisted of meetings, cleaning the room (Which still isn't done >.<), laundry, catching up on emails, translating stuff, working out and talking to Take.

I learned how to make LJ layouts from scratch finally (without borrowing other people's codes) but since I really like the layout I have here, I decided to update my layout on my Japanese LJ instead.
I can't believe how much fun I'm having on that blog.
It was originally going to be a japanese version of this one, but then it kind of changed.
I don't talk about Take so much on that one, since he'll be reading that one and I don't want him to get creeped out, lol.

Speaking of studying, I decided to stop forcing myself to study. It isn't working. Sitting down with text books just isn't my thing.

How does everyone else study?

I've gotten really in to online shopping lately--and shopping in general. There are great sites out there with tons of coupons and great prices. Sears is having a pretty big sale now so I'm totally taking advantage of that.

It's amazing how much weight you can drop when you don't step on a scale 0_0. I'm still not where I want to be but I'm alot closer than when I was weighing myself every day and nit-picking over what I ate. これからも頑張りますわ～☆

I gave my number to a guy at work cause you know...stupid me thinking girls and guys can just be friends. Now he's annoying the hell out of me with texts every morning. Ugh. First some guy does nanpa on me, then this guy. If this continues, I'm going to have to quit the night shift.

Mom is still sick but she's been doing better since she started eating healthy and she's dropping weight. I'm really happy she decided to be healthier but I wish they could figure out what was wrong with her. My brother has issues now too and might have to get surgery on his knees--that's the life of an athlete I guess.


How could I forget! On my time off, I went ahead and learned this dance. My next dance is gonna be from DJ Ozma.♪♪♪

Kyoto had always been on my list of places to go before I die, so I was glad that I was getting the chance to go. Despite it being on a school trip, I was still able to enjoy my time there alot. I learned about the history by day and partied hard by night (Luckily, the school never found out XD). We visited alot of sites that were vital in 源氏物語. It was really cool to see how despite all the modernization, these places still exist--and exist so close to the cities! I think seeing them exist in between the tall towers and powerlines really adds to the fact that what took place at these locations was something of a different time entirely!

For those who don't know 源氏物, check it out! I have such a love/hate relationship with this novel. I can see why it's one of Japan's most important stories.



( Kyoto can be so beautiful!  )

 
Aaah, I was such a baby then! 

( A night of fun!  )

I really like living in Tokyo but I would much rather be close to Kyoto. I'm sure that this is kind of influencing my decision to live with Take, since living in Osaka would put me like...right there. It just feels so different compared to Tokyo. For one, there aren't as many annoying foreigners (I'm not saying all foreigners are annoying. I'm just saying that alot of the ones who live in Tokyo just happen to be.), There feels like theres so much more to do and the people feel more laid back. This is the place I need to be!

広島 || 広島平和記念公園と原爆ドーム
Hiroshima || Hiroshima Peace Memorial Park and Atomic Bomb Dome.
(English and Japanese descriptions to each picture under the cut)

その日、雨が降り出した。傘の下に広島の歴史について習うようになった。心はちょっと悲しくなちゃった。
こんな事・・本で広島の事について読んでたのに、自分の目で見た時、気持ちがずっと変わってた。本で読んだとき「へぇー面白いよ、それ」と思った。映画を見るの気持ちだった。でも、行った時、自分で見た時、本当に寂しくて悲しくなった。

感想してるよ。



 

( I could feel my heart crying ♪♪ )

一日だけだったのに、ショックだった。人間はすごいよ。