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It's really cold today, mostly because it's windy. Ryu has band practice today, so after writing this entry and drinking a pot of green tea, I'll read また会いたくて in the bath. I thought about going for a power walk, but I might do a bit of yoga and practice the dance I need to learn by February 24th instead. Last year, we did 星野健's 恋ダンス, and this year we are doing TDC's バブリー! It's always something where the dances are very cutesy, which is why it takes so long for me to learn, despite what my coworkers assume. It's extremely hard for me to memorize a dance if the music isn't hitting me in the soul, if that makes sense.

I tried to practice a bit last night, but it turned in to three hours of dancing to BTS and EXILE. Naturally, I forgot all I had learned for the dance I actually need to learn.

GIRL DATE(⋈◍>◡<◍)。✧♡

I met up with K today in 新宿. I usually post individual shots of the プリクラ but my softbank account doesn't want to let me in right now, so I can't access the pics without paying for them individually -- which I wont do, when I already pay 300円 a month for all of them. Here is a quick cam shot of the two sets we took today. She also gave me a lipstick that changes color depending on the temperature.

All in all, we had a lot of fun. But I have to say -- I realized I wasn't mentally okay. After taking our pictures, I felt really disappointed with myself. My healthy weight is between 120-135lbs (54-61kg) and I am currently right in the middle at 124(56kg). And the doctor has confirmed that I have a high percent of muscle. So while I'm not where I want to be, I know I'm not unhealthy in that sense. However, I know I'm sick, and knowing I am sick and have to take medicines for this and that make me feel so ugly. Does that make sense?

It hasn't snowed again, but there is still a lot of snow in certain areas. The main roads near where I live and work have been cleared out, but the "local roads" are still quite frozen over. This means that my commutes are slightly longer than usual, since taking the main road adds distance and time to the route compared to the local routes, and I return home late at night, which makes it hard to clearly see what is still snow and what is ice and black ice.

My dad had surgery for his cancer on Monday (I didn't find out until Saturday) and he seems to be doing fine now.

Ryu made fun of me, calling me an "active lazy person," this morning. I absolutely hate having to change trains, so I would rather walk 40 minutes to a different station to avoid having to make a 2 minute train change.  I told him I didn't want to be called lazy by a person who would rather drive to and pay parking for a shopping center, when it was only a 10 minute walk.
I guess, we are one in the same.

Snow Day 2Snow Day 2-2
11 September 2017 @ 06:34 pm
Why is everything a video now-a-days? Some of us do read! I was trying to keep up with updates on hurricane Irma while at work, but every page I went to had video updates and pages with actual written information, limited their content to bullet points. Anyway, Irma has been downgraded to a 1, which the house my parents rent can stand. However, the surge remains a huge problem, and after watching videos of just how far out Tampa Bay had been pulled back.....I'm still quite worried.

I need things to be over. I woke up with a nosebleed and my first ever white hair. I called my mom and told her to tell the entire family I held them responsible for my early-aging. And while I was quite angry, I was happy she looked so happy. She said to me, "We may never see that house again, but look! I am in a state I have never been, with all my kids and my grand-kids in one room. This has never happened." And she panned the camera around for everyone to say hello. My brother and his girlfriend and my sister were sitting on one bed watching TV together, my dad was teaching my nieces how to gamble play cards and dominoes, and my fat dog was in the corner sleeping near the conditioner. Despite it all, everyone looked safe and content.

I feel like my stress was not only over their safety, but also my inability to do anything as the oldest child. I've always had that complex.....
It's so bad that I cried when it dawned on me I might not be able to reach them for a while once they returned to Florida, because of power outages and such. How could I manage not talking to them for a while, when we talk almost every day despite the distance and time difference? My mom says I'm the most dependant independant person she's ever known. I'm very self-sufficient and handle my own things and live my own life, but I absolutely need my family standing behind me. I need to know they are there should I need them.

Well, I ended up going to 上野動物園 with Ryu on Saturday. I knew he had been looking forward to going, and I figured I could keep up with the news on my mobile while we were there. He was really understanding about it and asked me multiple times if it was really okay for me to not go back and help them. Puh, I couldn't get a flight in even if I offered my first born. Either way, It was quite fun.Our mission was to capture at least 3 animals smiling. Mission accomplished!

We talked about living together again and it was the closest Ryu got to getting a "yes" out of me. As I was putting some snacks away, he wrapped his arms around me from behind and asked me if I disliked the idea of living with him. I simply answered "If I didn't like the idea, I would have already directly said no." He seemed satisfied with the answer, but I still wonder why I can't just flat out say "I want to live with you."

As soon as things with Hurricane Irma settle down and I help my parents financially with any damages or moving, then I'll start looking at places here and there. I re-read my lease agreement and there wasn't any penalty, but I want to confirm with the landlord just in case I misunderstood something.

My boss told me his wife said that I'm getting prettier and prettier with the passing of time. I denied it, and they took it as my being modest, but honestly, I don't notice any changes in myself. Then another higher up mentioned it was because my eyes sparked lately. I jokingly said that I was like wine, and that the more time passed, the better I'd be. The joke was wasted, as apparently the previous foreign employee had shown up to work drunk once....and that was no bueno!
I guess if others are noticing changes, my tiny efforts here and there aren't going to waste!

05 January 2017 @ 06:46 am
Just in case it went missed (Since people seem to be freaking out now more than ever), you can reach my DW by clicking on the image to the left. Livejournal will still be my platform until it completely disappears from the net, but for those who decide to stop using LJ beforehand, the content on my DW will be exactly the same. I look forward to keeping touch with everyone here, there, or even on both.

So why am I an idiot? Because I accidentally made this entry private so that only I could see it, then paniced when no one had come forward to either add me or give me their DW account. I was sad that no one wanted to keep in touch. Why didn't anyone keep in touch??

Because you couldn't see this entry XD My bad. 
Great New Years date. I will keep long stories short, but if Masahiro wants any more of my attention, he's definitely got it♡ (˘▽˘>ԅ( ˘⌣˘) . We were raised in similar environments, so we have a lot of the same interests and morals. And he's the first person in a while to fully grasp that while I am foreign, my brain doesn't function in English all the time, and that I wasn't raised in typical American culture. When he looks up words I don't know, he does it in Spanish and he doesn't ask about America, but Puerto Rico. He appeals to a side of me a lot of people (and even Kenshi was guilty of this) seem to forget about, or simply ignore.

no rushing. I still want to get to know Sakka-kun, and Yuuki better as well.
When it comes to love, I've always acted in the heat of the moment and just gone on gut feeling. I might try a different approach this time.

Tokyo Tower. Even thinking about it now, I laugh. We went to Tokyo Tower for the count down. Last year,they turned off the tower, and then at midnight turned it on, returning it to it's bright glory. 10 seconds to midnight. Everyone starts counting down. 10,9,8,7,6,5,4,3,2,1.....and....nothing! So everyone counts again. Confused murmers and whispers begin to travel around. Then, a police officer drives by in a car and in a voice I found much too cheerful says "We aren't turning it back on this year...! We aren't turning it on this year....!" And we could hear the joy in his voice. It was as though he also did the count down, eagerly awaiting to be able to give everyone the disappointing news. I asked Masahiro why the officer would wait until after midnight to say it, when he knew everyone had been standing around for an hour before, and we laughed it off because we decided we'd probably do the same thing. It became a running gag with us that continued through out the night and well in to the morning.

Updated my agenda for this month and fixed my budget. While I have a full 2017 yearly goal list, I've decided
five goals I will focus on this month: Write something everyday. On paper. Stop going grocery shopping until I've used everything I already have in my kitchen. I buy too much and it all goes bad before I can use it. Stretch more. I'm too stiff! Clean out my closet and restock it. I still wear too many things in L and M, while I am an S(Japanese) XS(American). Stop hanging out with new guys. It is much easier for me to make male friends. I need to start making friends with, and maintining friendships, with girls.

Good luck to us all!

Happy New Years!!

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