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09 October 2016 @ 09:58 pm
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I disabled comments after getting some...interesting? comments. Go ahead and message me or just send me a request and I will check you out :)

I will keep entries public for 10 days, each (Or every two weeks if I am suddenly swamped!). Then they will be locked. This allows people to get a taste of what I'm like while still giving me a sense of privacy.

Thanks for understanding!


13 February 2019 @ 06:18 pm
I finished packing up the chocolates for tomorrow. Now that I've bought Ryu a mug I know he can't refuse, I can toss out the one he's currently fond of, that belonged to Kenshi. So, I'm in a better mood, but I am insanely exhausted and will be getting to bed after this post.

I had an emotional breakdown as soon as I got home yesterday, and cried for a good three hours. Naturally, it was caused by work. My workload has doubled and my "breaks" have been shortened, and it's only going to get busier come April. Now, I rather expected that to happen, so that alone wasn't enough to break me. But a lot of little things happened yesterday that just did me in.

①My employer forgot to order my lunch, and since I'm not allowed to go out during work hours, I had to work the full day on only the banana and yogurt I had had for breakfast. (On the bright side, I got home rather early...at like 20:00) So I was irritated and energy-less for most of the day.

 ②I kept getting bothered to clarify things on a document that I had simply translated from Japanese. I explained what I could, but honestly, if the original document is unclear, that's not on me. You go to the original person instead of wasting my time. Then listening to complaints about how difficult the English is to understand....but WHO made the decision to do it all in English when you knew most people wouldn't be able to understand anyway? I had intended to work through my lunch break on one of the many things I need to submit, since I had no lunch, but got none of it done. It was around the loop nonsense.

Higher up:"Can you explain why B is like this?"
Me: "Because....A is like this."
Higher up"But A is unclear. Why?"
Me: "Because person A wrote item A unclear?"
Higher up: "So we need to clarify here here and here."
[Higher up stares at me expectantly.] [Stares back waiting for them to realize I'm not person A] 

Mind you, they've had this document for a full month and a half now. And are NOW having issues with it, even though it's already been mass-printed and handed out. Mind you, I already did enough by translating the whole thing in to English for person A, when I'm only supposed to edit it AFTER person A writes a Japanese and English version......

③An argument with a co-worker and major lack of communication. I had mentioned before that I have a dance performance and that the dance routine had been decided. Literally an hour before leaving work, a coworker sends a mass LINE message to those of us dancing, saying she's changing the routine to the routine danced by the original group. Naturally, I was irritated. We have literally a week left before the show, and only 3 days where we can all actually gather to practice together. On top of that, the original routine took the original group A YEAR to master before they debuted it....and she expects us to do it in a week? 

I told her she was being inconsiderate to the few of us that had lives outside of work. Some of us don't live at home with mom and dad and have other responsibilities like cooking and laundry and grocery shopping or taking care of kids or studying for certain certifications. We can't get home at 22:00 and jump straight in to practicing. Another coworker also mentioned it was too difficult and not fair to expect some of the older members to be able to do it.

There is no need for such a complicated routine. We aren't professional dancers. But "The single ladies crew" naturally, want to do something that will have eyes glued to them. We should have the option of stepping out and not dancing then, because not all of us want to be told "Wow, amazing! Wow, you're cool!"

The conversation continued via LINE, in which I was told not to practice anything yet because nothing had been decided, meanwhile half the members agreed to practice anyway, for today...so, not wanting to be the only one left out, I decided to practice as well. I ended up saying up until 3am to learn THE FIRST 30 SECONDS of the routine, and went to work on literally 2 hours of sleep. I cried through every hour of practice.

So when I got to work today, they were like "Oh, no. We're going to work out the routine today and teach you on Friday. So, not only do I have to stay late on Friday now, but I also only have 3 days to memorize this routine on top of all the other things I have to do.

Want to know how many pages I typed and printed today at work? 26. Want to know how much of my workload that is? 1/5th. So.

The breakdown was mostly about the lack of disrespect. Everyone knows I'm busy as heck --- because they KNOW everyone asks me for help with everything, despite all I have to do. So how are you going to dump things last minute? How are you going to hold me to higher standards because you THINK I can, without actually CONFIRMING if I can? The breakdown was me biting my tongue to not say what I was really thinking. Me trying to not murder everyone.

Counting down the days until I'm done.
Japanese Version 日本語!Collapse )
Things have been busy. Not hectic -- I have a steady routine of work, exercise, and studying -- but it's been busy. I'm dying to meet my friends. They understand how it is with work and don't mind waiting for me to catch up on things, but there is so much I want to share with them that I would rather say over tea than send in a message. Things are always hectic until around April, but hopefully soon....

I have a dance performance in two weeks that I need to practice more for. I also need to prep for classes. I wasn't sure how taking a class lower than my level would work out, but it's been interesting! Since the material is easy for me, the teacher often has me assist him, and has even given me a free book to study for 2級, since that's what I should be taking. I haven't really made friends with anyone -- many of them are Chinese students who can't really speak Japanese just yet, despite being memorization masters. But having to talk with them has forced me to speak more slowly and it's done wonders for my pronunciation and slowing down my mind. I used to not be able to sit and focus for more than 10 minutes max, but thanks to the class, I'm up to 30 minutes now. The class ends soon. I wonder if I can maintain discipline myself.

Compared to the chocolates I made previous years, I had really mixed feelings. I'm used to making "Pretty" chocolates as opposed to "cutesy" chocolates, so I wasn't entirely in love with the appearance of what I put together. But I loved the flavors. I ended up changing my original plan a bit and scrapping white chocolate, replacing it with banana-milk flavored chocolate, adding cherry flavoring, and crunching up some kit kats to add a crunchy filling to some of the chocolates. Ryu usually only ever has milk chocolate, so I'm a little worried about what he'll think -- if some flavors are too strong or too sweet.

On the topic of Ryu, we celebrated our 2 year anniversary (It's actually on Thursday, but we both get home past 10pm so...). There wasn't really anywhere we wanted to go or anying we wanted to do, so we ended up going to a farmers market that Ryu's mom had recommended and bought some high quality salmon, tuna and fish eggs. It was all roughly 3,500 yen. We also bought some alcohol to have with it. Naturally, I bought Horoyoi's seasonal drink! First drink in ages and it was good! We made Sushi rolls and ate them while watching イッテQ. Two years. Only two years. It feels like we've been together for much longer. It must be my level of comfort and how natural things feel for us. He's the only guy I've ever felt comfortable singing in front of while going on drives, or prancing around in my underwear or short tops. He's the first guy to break in to dance with me when I spontaneously bust a move, or throw out lame lyrics whenever I'm jokingly tossing together a lame song about something stupid like cheese or taking a bath. Things are great.

We ended up finding out that we had a ton of Tpoints that were about to expire and needed to spend them quick, so we went to the drug store and picked up some new moisturizer I had been looking at: AQUA LABEL. Now I use NATURE CONC for my sensitive skin, but between medicines and suppliments, my skin seemed to be getting stronger so I wanted to try something new. They happened to have a season limited Sakura scented one, so I got that. Free with points. We also ordered 2 large towels and a spring-top. Free.

Wow. Time just flew by. My last post was 22 days ago. But it can't really be helped -- I haven't been up to much aside from work, dance practice, languge lessons and exercising in the evenings. I haven't really had time for meeting up with friends or trying anything new. February looks like it's going to be just as busy, but I have my fingers crossed on being able to get some socializing in.

Impulsively, I went out this afternoon and got a fringe! Ryu was playing Spiderman on PS4 and I just got up and said "I'm gonna go cut my hair. Be back later!" Originally, I had a blunt bang (think Rihanna 2016) cut in mind, but my hairstylist refused to do it, saying it wouldn't work well with my face or hair type. I like how it turned out, and now I won't look so plain when I have to pull my hair back and wear glasses at work. I was excited to show my new cut to Ryu, but when I got home, he was curled up in bed with a headache.

I don't smoke, so I'm not exactly sure how it works, but I strongly believe these headaches he gets are withdrawl headaches because he's also been coughing up flem more often as well. He tends to get them mostly over the weekend, when he's low on cigs. He usually smokes two to three a day. But he denies that it's related and refuses to see a doctor. Today he hasn't had any because he ran out. I picked him up a box, but I'm letting him sleep the pain away.

His loss. My fringe rocks.

The other day, we went out and got the new starbucks カスタマニア fraps. He got chocolate and I got romantic. They were good but a bit of a let down. Basically it was just coffee fraps with a few flavored sprinkles on top. Once the sprinkles dissolved, they tasted like regular coffee fraps.

The short-lasting taste of raspberry in my frap inspired me to make Ryu's handmade chocolates for valentines day this year, a fruit-flavored chocolate set. For the past two years I've focused really hard on chocolates that look good, but this year I really want to try and focus on flavors. My plan is using milk chocolate, white chocolate, rasberry infused chocolate, rasberry chocolate, blueberry cream...but am debating using coconut chocolate in place of white chocolate. I also wanted to try using marshmellow inside the rabbit, but I don't know if I have enough skill to do that. I tossed together a sketch of what I have in mind, mostly because I don't have time to just toy around and try different things. Work is insane, and now that we live together, I have to pull off making them when he isn't home, so that it can still be a surprise. So, I need to be ready and set to go as soon as I get home from work.

I've been looking at pre-made boxed chocolates at shops and it kills me inside that there are such gorgeous boxes for literally half the price of what I pay to buy ingredients.... but it's just not the same in my eyes.


Japanese Version
[Japanese Version (日本語)]体が疲れていると思います。休み中でも朝5時に起きています。




Three more days of vacation left. Honestly, I can't wait to get back to work. It's going to drive me crazy being back, but I've already done all I wanted to do with this vacation,and I'm not a happy camper when I get bored.

January 2nd we went out to eat with Ryu's parents and while I like them very much, I was also a bit irritated with them. He had received his new year's bonus and wanted to take them out to a nice steak house (which was in my opinion, over priced for the quality...). He told them to have at it and order whatever they wanted. They did, and of course, thanked him, but then proceded to ask how much his bonus was, and when he refused to answer, they decided that it probably wasn't much if he wouldn't answer.  I know for a fact it was a decent bonus... But... WHY.DOES.IT.MATTER? You are being treated to a meal that's worth more than what we pay in groceries in a month.

Then they asked about my educational history. In Japan, things pretty much go in a straight line. People don't move around so much. You live in the same neighborhood, spend 3-4 years in the same schools, get a job, and stay there until you're fired. So it was extremely hard for them to grasp I come from a military family and have moved a lot, so my educational history is all over the place.
Then we talked about my brother's wedding this year, because Ryu wants to come with me. That's when the passive racism came out, with their completely outdated views of America, and they put a bit of fear in to him. He still wants to go and is working more on basic English expressions, but he seems nervous. Now, I can't be angry with their concerns of his safety. I just kind of laughed it off, but internally.....
They even stressed he needed a guide book for tourist spots, but when I mentioned that I didn't know if there would be a lot of time for that because we were going for a wedding and I wanted to spend the majority of the time with my family, his mom commented that it would be good to get some sight-seeing in because he would never travel. Okay, but I've said the entire time... THAT. IS. NOT. WHAT. THIS. TRIP. IS. FOR.

His mom began asking me random facts, like about cost of life and restaurants and things like that. When I gave her a generic answer and told her I didn't really know because I hadn't been back in close to a decade, she gave me an odd look.But like, you're asking me to give you prices of things in a place where I lived when my parents were still paying for everything and I didn't need to worry.
Let me state again, I don't think they are bad people-- they are good. Just seriously misinformed and unaware of how to behave with people who are slightly different. What seems like very common sense to them isn't really.

January 3rd, it was time for Ryu and K to finally meet. The day started rough. The train we meant to take was extremely packed to the point we weren't even allowed to squeeze in, then the train after that was late, so we ended up being around 20-25 minutes late. I sent K a message to grab a coffee and decided that since she had to pocket that expense, I'd pay her sushi meal to balance things out. We ended up walking for an hour because the places we had looked up before were either closed, or had a 10% mark up on the final bill for being open on the holiday. We eventually found a place, ate, then went to the game center.

It went pretty well despite their not being able to really communicate. Ryu tossed out words here and there in English, and K would answer in English or basic Japanese to what she could, and I filled in the blanks between the two here and there. There was a bit of confusion over Ryu's real name and what K should address him as. We also laughed at how K had thought I had been cheating on Ryu because I had been using his real name, which she didn't know him by.

Ryu has been reading his phrase book every night, so next time we all meet up, he'll be able to speak more.

On the last note, I enrolled in a 能力試験 class for the N3 level. Honestly, it's quite easy content-wise, as I'm mid N2-N1 level, BUT it was the only class offered on a day and time that I could go after work, and figured it would be a good way to build lacking discipline. Also, I'd get to meet new people. The teacher realized that material-wise, it's simple for me, so he gave me a copy of the book for free and told me to do the assignments if I wanted to. It's only a 3 month course, twice a week. If this course will help me build more discipline, maybe I'll start using my N2-N1 books for more than just paper-weights.