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White Day came and went. We were both too busy to celebrate on March 14th, so we celebrated it on the 17th instead. Honestly, I'd completely forgotten about it until we pulled in to the parking garage and Ryu handed me a bag.

Recap. On Valentines Day, I gave Ryu a box of home-made chocolates.

So for White Day he gave me:
Season Limited Macaroon Styled sweets from Godiva. He knows I'm not huge on chocolate, so I appreciate that he always gets flavored chocolates. This time they were Sakura, Green Tea, Mango and Rasberry. We also went out for dinner, where I (broke Doctors orders...) had my first glass of wine in almost two years. Or rather, tried to. I only got through 1/4 of it before having Ryu finish it off.

White Day PresentGodiva Macaroons!
White Day Dinner
Cleaning for the move has been coming along well. At this point, all that is left is to go through things in the bathroom and do a scrub, so that next month, all I have to do is wipe down and sweep once all the boxes are out. My landlord said I don't have to pay the extra fee they charge for moving out, so I only have to pay any extra money it takes for repairs, that goes over the amount I paid for my deposit. Basically, I'm not getting the deposit back. So, I want to make sure any cleaning and such that needs to get done, doesn't go over 30,000yen ($300?). I get off early today, so after I pick up my watch from the repair shop, I'm going to walk home the long way around, then swing by Daiso for more cleaning supplies. If it turns in to a rainy night, I'll finish cleaning up, but if it's nice out I want to try and go for a light jog to view the flowers. They've started to bloom in my area and are gorgeous, but I prefer them at night.

I have plans to meet K this weekend, as it's a three day weekend. I hope my stomach doesn't act up and ruin things.

Off to work. I'm already 10 minutes late, but I really don't seem to care.
My stomach flare up over the weekend and I ended up having to go to ER to get a bunch of liquid drained out. Another beautiful scar to add to the collection. I was told to take it easy, but between work and having to clean out since I don't have time to do so in April, I will, naturally, not be taking it easy.

It's been seven years now since the great disaster. Though it goes without saying, I am going to say it -- I still miss Takeshi very much. I still flip through our photos and wonder. For years after, I would call his mother every memorial day of the disaster, but last year I didn't, as I was out celebrating Ryu's and my anniversary. I remembered to call her this year and she told me that it was okay to not call her, and that it was okay for me to put myself fully in to my current relationship.

I felt a bit hurt at first, but she expressed that we were both trying to hold on to a piece of what had been important to a person that was no longer here. But in all this time, we've both become different people, and are no longer the exactly same person associated with the person we lost. To show me she had no hard feelings, she joked that Takeshi would have been amazed that I no longer go clubbing or drink. "He would have had to give up his early morning surf-trips while you were hung over and sleeping!"

We laughed, even if it wasn't all that funny to me. I understood her point. So I wished her the best and then went out to treat myself to a strawberry almond-milk latte. I decided it best to not ever talk to Ryu about Takeshi. It's something I want to keep for myself.

Ryu and I grabbed a bite at a new place that opened up literally one minute and thirty seconds away from my flat. From the outside, it looked like a regular little cafe with handwritten signs, but inside was like a mini-wedding chapel restaurant. Everything was gorgeous in white and black and gold, with four course meals and easy-going music. We ordered a 1,000円 meal, which consisted of mushroom cream soup, boiled and seasoned red onion and ham, a spring salad, and then a plate of beef curry. Next month, they start working evenings as well. We're looking forward to that evening menue!

Baby names!! It was an unexpected conversation, but we discussed what names we'd like to use. While we haven't decided on anything yet, we agreed that we want something that goes well with Japanese and Spanish, and that has an easy English equivalent. I love that he took in to account that my mom has troubles with a lot of English names.

This may or may not be my last entry. I found a massive spider in my kitchen and have made several attempts to drown it in bug spray. It's still kicking and I'm still spraying. One of us is not going to make it.

Until I can get a hold of the DVD and possibly get permission to share, I bring cellphone shots I snuck in while the head was watching the video of our rehersal. Looking at our costumes, I find myself laughing at how simple they are, yet also feeling accomplished that we each made our own from scratch in about a week. I don't plan on making my own clothes or costumes or anything from here on out, but it's nice to know that I have it in me if I needed to.

I can't believe we're already in to March. It's really hitting hard that soon I will be moving in to a new place with Ryu and will probably need to begin calling him by his real name (lol). Then it's switching phones to family plans and all that....
The best way to de-stress is my talking to my mother, but that has been impossible, what with her having to take care of my nieces all the time. Anytime I call, the oldest basically takes the phone and has her way, so I don't even bother trying to call anymore. My mother feels bad about it, but I'm not angry. I just don't have the energy to deal with it at the moment. I told her to let me know when she doesn't have the girls.

My stomach is still being a major pain, literally and figuratively. The doctors are worried that the bacteria has become resistant against the antibiotics, since I didn't take them properly the first time around (Lets thank the first hospital I attended, for that!) but they don't want to strengthen them either and risk damaging my stomach any further. The idea of putting me on 13-14 hour fasts and trying a different antibiotic has been discussed to attack the bacteria on a fully empty stomach. Right now, we've been doing a good job at maintaining it so it doesn't get like some months back where I couldn't even move, but it doesn't look like it's getting cured. There is a chance that all the throwing up from my heart pill also had some role. Little by little, I know. It's just getting tiring -- literally. No matter how much I sleep, I look so worn out these days.

Ryu has decided to get back in to playing guitar seriously and asked me if it was okay for him to do so with his friend, who he was in a band with from Jr High up until they graduated high school. I told him I was okay with it, and he asked me if I was sure, since chances are most practices would be on Saturday nights. "I'll live," I told him. And really, I will, because it solves a major concern I had about living together -- still having "me time." Besides, it's not fair for me to go back to dance and then "not allow" him to get back in to guitar. He says that being with me and being exposed to all kinds of new music reminded him of how much he loved music, and seeing how many times I cried each time we watched The Greatest Showman (Five times, total) made him long for the days where he made music that hit people the way that movie hit me. Even if I didn't want him to practice guitar again, how could I say no after a reason like that?

The weather has been decent these days. Hopefully my knee heals up soon so I can get back in to longer power-walks and eventually back to 5k and then 10k runs. Although...I've yet to find a decent course to run. I just can't run paths with stoplights. I need to just go go go go go....and that doesn't exist in my area. That's one of the few things I miss about where I used to live. I could just lose myself in the rice fields for hours.

11 September 2017 @ 06:34 pm
Why is everything a video now-a-days? Some of us do read! I was trying to keep up with updates on hurricane Irma while at work, but every page I went to had video updates and pages with actual written information, limited their content to bullet points. Anyway, Irma has been downgraded to a 1, which the house my parents rent can stand. However, the surge remains a huge problem, and after watching videos of just how far out Tampa Bay had been pulled back.....I'm still quite worried.

I need things to be over. I woke up with a nosebleed and my first ever white hair. I called my mom and told her to tell the entire family I held them responsible for my early-aging. And while I was quite angry, I was happy she looked so happy. She said to me, "We may never see that house again, but look! I am in a state I have never been, with all my kids and my grand-kids in one room. This has never happened." And she panned the camera around for everyone to say hello. My brother and his girlfriend and my sister were sitting on one bed watching TV together, my dad was teaching my nieces how to gamble play cards and dominoes, and my fat dog was in the corner sleeping near the conditioner. Despite it all, everyone looked safe and content.

I feel like my stress was not only over their safety, but also my inability to do anything as the oldest child. I've always had that complex.....
It's so bad that I cried when it dawned on me I might not be able to reach them for a while once they returned to Florida, because of power outages and such. How could I manage not talking to them for a while, when we talk almost every day despite the distance and time difference? My mom says I'm the most dependant independant person she's ever known. I'm very self-sufficient and handle my own things and live my own life, but I absolutely need my family standing behind me. I need to know they are there should I need them.

Well, I ended up going to 上野動物園 with Ryu on Saturday. I knew he had been looking forward to going, and I figured I could keep up with the news on my mobile while we were there. He was really understanding about it and asked me multiple times if it was really okay for me to not go back and help them. Puh, I couldn't get a flight in even if I offered my first born. Either way, It was quite fun.Our mission was to capture at least 3 animals smiling. Mission accomplished!

We talked about living together again and it was the closest Ryu got to getting a "yes" out of me. As I was putting some snacks away, he wrapped his arms around me from behind and asked me if I disliked the idea of living with him. I simply answered "If I didn't like the idea, I would have already directly said no." He seemed satisfied with the answer, but I still wonder why I can't just flat out say "I want to live with you."

As soon as things with Hurricane Irma settle down and I help my parents financially with any damages or moving, then I'll start looking at places here and there. I re-read my lease agreement and there wasn't any penalty, but I want to confirm with the landlord just in case I misunderstood something.

My boss told me his wife said that I'm getting prettier and prettier with the passing of time. I denied it, and they took it as my being modest, but honestly, I don't notice any changes in myself. Then another higher up mentioned it was because my eyes sparked lately. I jokingly said that I was like wine, and that the more time passed, the better I'd be. The joke was wasted, as apparently the previous foreign employee had shown up to work drunk once....and that was no bueno!
I guess if others are noticing changes, my tiny efforts here and there aren't going to waste!

05 January 2017 @ 06:46 am
Just in case it went missed (Since people seem to be freaking out now more than ever), you can reach my DW by clicking on the image to the left. Livejournal will still be my platform until it completely disappears from the net, but for those who decide to stop using LJ beforehand, the content on my DW will be exactly the same. I look forward to keeping touch with everyone here, there, or even on both.

So why am I an idiot? Because I accidentally made this entry private so that only I could see it, then paniced when no one had come forward to either add me or give me their DW account. I was sad that no one wanted to keep in touch. Why didn't anyone keep in touch??

Because you couldn't see this entry XD My bad.